Developer Tools · API · Infrastructure
DeployThing
deploything.dev ↗ · Preview deploys from pull requests
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Rank is bought. The score below is not — it is graded against the Developer Tools criteria, whoever is paying.
WHAT YOU CAN DO ON THIS PAGE
Included in a paid roastRead the whole roast
Score across seven weighted dimensions, the biggest problem, a rewritten headline and a prioritised fix list.
Vote on it
Say whether you’d actually try this product or whether it needs roasting. One vote per person, no account.
Fix it, then re-roast
Ship the changes, then start a fresh $9 roast. We capture the new page only after its payment is confirmed.
Defend the top spot
Any rank on this board is for sale: pay $1 more than the bid sitting there. The $9 roast is charged once per site, so every later bid is bid-only.
Money moves your position on the leaderboard. It never moves a number in this report — the score comes from your homepage, not your receipt.
Demo report preview. A live submission replaces this with captured homepage evidence.
ROAST SCORE
60 / 100Seven dimensions, weighted by how much each one actually costs you conversions. Message clarity carries the most weight; accessibility the least. Under 50 means a visitor can’t tell what you sell.
| Dimension | Score | Weight |
|---|---|---|
| Message clarity | 47 | 25% |
| CTA strength | 60 | 15% |
| Trust | 49 | 15% |
| Visual hierarchy | 83 | 15% |
| Conversion friction | 72 | 15% |
| Mobile usability | 53 | 10% |
| Accessibility | 62 | 5% |
🔥 Biggest problem
The headline "Infrastructure that just works, at any scale." describes the technology (or the vibe) before the customer outcome.
🧊 Surprisingly good
The hero spends more pixels on atmosphere than on the product.
Roast
- A developer will give you five seconds. You spent four of them on a metaphor.
- There is no code example above the fold. That is a personality test, and you failed it.
- Docs are a link. Time-to-first-success is a rumor.
Current headline
“Infrastructure that just works, at any scale.”
RoastBid rewrite
“First request in minutes.”
“Developers did not come here to be inspired. They came here to paste something.”
Copy Doctor · CTA, trust, framing
- CTA
- Copy the quickstart
- Subhead
- For backend teams who would rather read a 12-line example than a manifesto.
- Proof
- Docs first. Pricing second. Poetry never.
Visual critique
- Hero hierarchy buries the product under a slogan.
- Pricing is a nav item, not a decision aid.
- Mobile layout lets the CTA fall below the fold.
Messaging battlefield
Deploything
Focus: Platform breadth
Traceyard
Focus: Time-to-debug
Buildgate
Focus: Simple setup
Opportunity: Position around time-to-first-success and a pasteable example, not platform poetry.
Action plan
Fix today
- Rewrite the hero so the customer and the outcome come first.
- Add a clear product screenshot or output example.
- Replace vague CTA copy with "Copy the quickstart".
Fix this week
- Add named customer evidence above the fold.
- Clarify pricing in one screen.
- Fix the mobile hero so the CTA is visible without a scroll.
Later
- Add a comparison page against the two obvious alternatives.
- Publish two customer stories with numbers.
Ordered by Impact × Confidence ÷ Effort, so the top item is the one worth doing first.
Shipped the fixes?
When you ship the fixes, start another $9 roast. Payment is confirmed before we capture the revised homepage and create its new report.
Share cards
Every milestone — taking #1, getting dethroned, a score jump, surviving the round — auto-generates a card built to be posted. You don’t make these; they just appear.
I just became the Main Character.
#1 Developer Tools · RoastBid
Someone had $17 more confidence than me.
Dethroned on RoastBid
54 → 60
RoastBid made us fix our homepage.
Survived the Roast — Champion
Developer Tools
What each rank unlocks
Everyone gets a real report. Ranking higher buys depth and human attention, not a better score.
- Everyone: score + 3 strengths + 3 problems + headline rewrite + public page + share card
- Top 10: full report + permanent profile + backlink
- #2/#3: deep teardown + full copy rewrite + hero recommendation
- #1: Full roast — human review + recorded teardown + hero rewrite + redesign + Hall of Flame
Votes are independent, unbuyable and shown separately from rank — “I’d try this” means people want the product, not that someone paid more.
Rank history
Every bid, dethroning and overtime extension on this product, in public.
- No moves yet — your reign starts when you enter the arena.